Growing the Trees....

This is what 750 pages of paper looks like and this is how I feel about them. They are going to grow quite at home over the next four months. They will be found on my sewing machine, in the printer, in between the sheets on my bed, crammed in the couch cushions, on the floor of my car, at my desk in TPCA, by the stove in the kitchen, and definitely on the back of the toilet. These are the sheets of paper that will be providing form to my articles, papers, and research for the last semester of my academic career ever!

I have the first school day jitters. Marci and I were in the car tonight on our way to meet brother bear when she looked me square in the eye and spoke sweet relieving truth. You have the first day jitters don't you? Yep, she knows me that well. My quiet mouth and twiddling thumbs just couldn't keep their minds to themselves. This will be my 15th semester and I still have the same doubts that I got as lanky little 14 year old 9th grader. I still look at the syllabi four nights before and have a pep talk with my planner about how to get it all done in record timing of 7 days.

Well, you know what 750 pages of paper? You want to know the truth, last semester? You want to know what I really think of you overindulgent life sucking projects? I am going to speak my mind. I think that you are bullies. I think that you must not have anything nicer to say or do so you just throw your weight around. You better watch your back. I am going to surprise you and sometimes even enjoy you. I am going to rock your world and I am also going to be the one that leaves YOU with paper cuts and spilled coffee.

I have my A-team at the ready to keep me sane while you are in my life. I have running, books on tape, cooking, small group, and sitcoms. I have Courtney and Nathan which should have you shaking in your boots, partner. I have the ability to ask questions, take breaks, and drink coffee with the big boys. So paper, projects, and syllabi you just go on back to your little corner and wait for me to be the one to hit the bell. This just ain't over till I say it is. May 5th, you just hang on because I am coming for you with a sparkle in my eye.

What I have to tuck in the back of my satchel is that there is something bigger than every project happening this semester. There is something bigger waiting on the other side of my diploma than all the meetings, research, and breakdowns. There is something more important waiting to be a product than the times I get angry, discouraged, or disappointed. There has always been something bigger than these things. I am not sure what that bigger things is, but I think I will know it by the looks of the Spirit. This semester will be a doozy, but it's nothing I will do alone, leave unfinished, or by my own strength. God is on my side and has already offered me tremendous endurance to take on day at a time. So for now I will just be thankful that God made the trees that made that stack of paper. I will be thankful that I have the time and resources to spend in class. I will sing praises that I made it to this semester by going through all those other 15 first day jitters. These are the things that matter today and might just help me through. Well, I am just a bamboo shoot growing a mile a minute; hope to catch you on the next mile!